Bad attitudes - Luke 10:38-42

This is a sermon by Melvin Tinker from the morning service on 7th November 2004.

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It has to be admitted that some of us are natural born worriers. Take the writer Erma Bombeck for example. This is what she says in a moment of refreshing candour: 'I've always worried a lot and frankly, I'm good at it. I worry about introducing people and going blank when I get to my mother. I worry about a shortage of ball bearings; a snake coming up through the kitchen drain. I worry about the world ending at midnight and getting stuck with three hours on a twenty four hour cold capsule. I worry about getting into the Guinness Book of records under "Pregnancy: Oldest recorded birth." I worry what the dog thinks when he sees me coming out of the shower; that one of my children will marry an Eskimo who will set me adrift on an iceberg when I can no longer feed myself. I worry about salesladies following me into the fitting roomworry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.' There are some people I know who start to worry that they have nothing to worry about. As a result worry can have a paralysing effect on your life. But not only that, worry can also have a poisoning effect on your relationships. And that is what we see in the episode from Luke's Gospel that we are looking at together this morning and the story of Martha, Mary and Jesus.

First of all, we have the poison of resentment, look at v38ff 'As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

Here we are given a step by step description of the process whereby something sweet becomes sour.

At the outset everything looks so promising doesn't it? It is like getting ready for that great Christmas family get together, full of excitement and expectation, but which in the midst of all the anxiety of the preparation becomes such a painful anticlimax- so tempers flare, old animosities are rekindled. Well, here we have the same thing about to happen in the home of Martha and her sister Mary. Nothing can give them greater delight than to be hostesses to Jesus and his followers. It would appear that Martha is the older sister, for it is described as 'her home' in verse 38.So she is the one who shoulders the responsibility for making sure that things happen, she is the one who would be shamed if the hospitality is not up to standard. Almost by way of contrast, and by way of preparing us for the domestic upset which is to come, Mary is then mentioned. And what is she doing? Getting out the best crockery, ensuring the freezer is well stocked; making sure the table is laid for the right number and any taggers on who might happen to come along at the last minute? No, that is Martha's domain. She is simply described as sitting, 'at the Lord's feet listening to what he said.' Martha is the woman with the open home. Mary is the woman with the open heart. Martha is a woman with a mission- a meal to prepare; Mary is a woman with a passion a message to hear. Two sisters. Two personalities. And as long as they understand each other they complement each other, like hand in glove. But when they don't it is the clash of stone and flint and sooner or later the sparks are going to fly.

As Mary sits there, hanging on every word of the Master, there is more than a kettle brewing in the kitchen- there a storm. I tell you, the organisation in that kitchen would make Gordon Ramsey humbled into washing his mouth out with soap and water. This is not just brunch Martha is preparing, it is a banquet-v 41 'But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.' Multitasking would have been Martha's middle name- cracking an egg with one hand whilst stirring the pot with the other. It is a big crowd out there, made up of big men- fishermen and we all know how they can eat you out of house and home in one sitting. And you can imagine her listening in to them talking in the next room with the occasional outbreak of laughter. And it is all beginning to grate. She is hot, she is tired and she is flustered. And that is when the resentful thoughts start to bubble to the surface: 'While I am standing here slaving away over a hot stove with my varicose veins killing me, what is little sister doing? Nothing, but sitting contemplating. It's all right for some! Where would we be if everyone decided to slink off from their responsibilities? Nothing would ever get done. Everyone would be hungry. In fact I wouldn't mind a little sit down myself, but someone has to make sure there is food on the table, after all meals don't cook themselves.' Now, of course you are very familiar with such thoughts aren't you? Because you have had plenty of them yourself and so have I. It is not just the pot that starts to boil over, so does Martha's temper. Enough is enough. She bursts out of the kitchen into the room like a Spanish galleon in full sail. And who gets the full force of her wrath? Jesus, that's who: v 40, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

Ouch! Not many people would have spoken to Jesus like that. You can bet that an embarrassed stony silence would have gripped the room such that you would have been able to cut the atmosphere with a knife. But resentment can have that sort of effect on you. For a start it can make you say and do things you later come to regret. Not long ago, Reuters reported that a German woman became so angry with her husband that she took a hammer outside and started demolishing his car with it, causing with of damage. That is, she thought it was his car. It was the same make and the same colour, but unfortunately when she had calmed down she realised it belonged to the next door neighbour-poor man. But worry and resentment can also have another disastrous consequence; you can end up telling God what to do, for that in effect is what is happening here. Did you notice how after Jesus is named in v38, from then on in the story he is referred to only as 'Lord'? V 39, Mary sat at 'The Lord's feet', v 40 Martha says 'Lord, don't you care?' v41 'The Lord answered.' Luke is deliberately underscoring Jesus Lordship here which makes Martha's outburst all the more painfully inappropriate. Can you imagine questioning whether Jesus' cares? Can you believe that someone more or less orders Jesus around, 'Tell her to help me'? Well, yes we can. For the chances are we have all done the same when we have felt hard done by.

It is hard to feel unappreciated and worn down by cares like Martha isn't it? To feel that all the responsibilities rest with you and no one seems to notice or lift a finger to help. Even worse is the thought that God doesn't seem to notice or come to our assistance. In a shame culture like this one, not to produce a great meal would have been felt very keenly indeed, and as far as Martha is concerned Mary is the one who is in danger of letting the family name down if it all goes wrong. And so the resentment in Martha steadily builds up until it finally bursts out. But do you see what has been happening? Service of the Lord has become twisted into service of self. Look at the very way Martha frames her complaint: 'Don't you care that my sister (not Mary) has left me to do the work by myself. Tell her to help me.' You know, it is so easy to forget who the servant is and who is to be served. Sin and Satan have a sly way of doing this to us. Notice, Satan didn't take Martha out of the kitchen; he took away her purpose in the kitchen. Likewise, Satan won't necessarily turn you against the church, but he will seek to turn you towards yourself within the church and so disillusion you in your ministry for the Lord. Like Martha you become distracted over all sorts of things and become worried sick about them. This is a special snare for those of us involved in, for want of a better term, 'full time ministry' So, your co-workers don't appreciate you. You leaders overlook you. Your congregation doesn't support you. That is the way it can sometimes feel. And resentment is then lurking just beneath the surface. It is as subtle as it is effective. Consequently, with the passage of time your agenda becomes more important than God's. Instead of seeking to please him in the service of others we slip into pleasing self out of the service of others- looking for the praise, craving the adulation. And it is not long before God himself becomes the target for our disaffection if these are not forthcoming. We begin to question whether he really does care and whether he really does know what he is doing otherwise he would have acted by now to help us out in the way we want. After all, had Jesus been aware of what was going on why hadn't he told Mary to help her worn out sister hours ago? Perhaps he is not so in tune with the situation after all? And it may well be that you feel like that too

So what had gone wrong and what is the answer? Well, this brings us to our next heading: the release of right priorities, v41, "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Isn't the response of the Lord Jesus wonderful? It is not a harsh put down, 'Who do you think you are telling me what to do?' it is a gentle rebuke from the one who will not break a bruised reed or snuff out a smouldering wick. 'Martha, Martha' says Jesus slowly shaking his head, 'I know how you feel, I know what is going on in your heart and to be frank it will be the death of you spiritually speaking- all this worry.' In v 40 Luke speaks of Martha being 'distracted' the word means to be 'dragged away', 'overburdened'. When in v 41 Jesus says she is 'worried' he means overly anxious- a word often linked with unbelief which diverts a person's proper attention from the things of God. And it is many things which are causing Martha to feel the way she does. And Jesus understands all of that. But he understands the dangers too. In fact he warned of it in the parable which is the key to all his teaching when he spoke of the seed of God's word being choked by 'the cares of this world.' That is precisely the danger Martha is placing herself in. What is a good thing- preparing a meal for Jesus stomach- is liable to become a bad thing in displacing Jesus teaching.

When Jesus says' only one thing is needful' what is he referring to? Is it that only one course is required and not the elaborate five courses or whatever that Martha has been so busy preparing? It could be that. After all, we are told in v38 that Jesus and his followers were'on their way' The time he has to spend with the two sisters will be limited, and when he left, it would be a long time before he visited them again. So maybe Martha was to keep the meal simple and maximise the use of the time in attending Jesus teaching. Quite possibly. But the stress is upon what Mary is doing, 'Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her.' What has she chosen? Quite simply, to listen to Jesus. That is the priority. Mary is putting into practice what Jesus constantly stressed that 'Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word which comes from the mouth of God.' That is the priority being underscored in the surrounding passages. Just before this account we have the expert in the law asking Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life. In response Jesus tells the story of the Good Samaritan as an example of how the law is really fulfilled- showing mercy, and tells him in v 37 'Go and do likewise.' That is, listen to God's Word and put it into practice. Right belief comes before right behaviour and both come from right teaching. Later on in chapter 11 and v28 Jesus says, 'Blessed are those who hear the word of God and obey it.' The problem with Martha is that in all her busyness, in her excessive desire to please and maybe receive credit, she has placed herself outside the sphere of hearing of God's Word. Before we can first serve Jesus we must first hear Jesus. Before we stand to minister to him at the table we must first sit and listen to him at his feet. You cannot give out unless first you have taken in. And Mary realises this and she is not going to be robbed of its blessing.

When you think about it, what Jesus is doing here is to earth in practice what he says elsewhere as a principle. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus warns against excessive worrying which consumes by pointing out the one thing that does matter, 'Seek first God's kingdom and his righteousness and all these other things will be ours as well.' In other words, put first things first-God. And that is what Mary is doing and what Martha is failing to do. And if the truth be known, this is the great snare which is liable to cripple many a professing Christian today, young and old. Why are we so slack on attending church weekly where we can sit at Jesus feet as his Word is opened up to us by His Spirit? It is because we are busy with other things. Why is it personal Bible reading and prayer often the first things to go when time is at a premium? It is because we have ceased to be people of the One thing. Jesus is not saying that these other things are bad in and of themselves any more than he was chiding Martha for cooking a delicious meal. Rather it is that good things become bad things when they begin to strangle our relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. We are not to become so busy working for him that we neglect relating to him. We are not to allow concern for physical food (and for that read 'work') to crowd out the deeper need for spiritual food.

When you take it back to its most basic, what is all this striving which characterises Martha, and many of us, really all about? Is it not a striving for significance and security? We only feel significant if we are doing something. We only feel secure when we are doing it well. But if, for whatever reason, our work is not perceived to be appreciated then both our signifance and security become threatened. As a result, we slavishly strive all the more and feel frustrated and resentful if the appreciation is not forthcoming. Isn't that right? So how are we to be set free from these problem feelings which lead to problem behaviour? Well, by engaging in right thinking of course. That is, we are to see that both our significance and security are bound up not in what we do, but who we are- a child of the living God, a follower the Lord Jesus Christ submitting to the loving rule of his Word- just like Mary in fact. The Christian counsellor Larry Crabb summarises this perfectly. Just listen to what he writes: 'Significance depends upon understanding who I am in Christ. I will come to feel significant as I have an eternal impact on people around me by ministering to them. If I fail in business, if my wife leaves me, if my church rolls drop, if I work in a menial occupation, if I can only afford a small house, I can still enjoy the thrilling significance of belonging to the Ruler of the universe who has a job for me to doneed for security demands that I be unconditionally loved and cared for, now and forever. God has seen me at my worst and still loves me to the point of giving His life for me. That kind of love I can never lose. I am under no pressure to earn or to keep his love. My acceptability to God depends on the fact that Jesus' death was counted as a full payment for my sins. Now that I know this love I can relax, secure on the knowledge that the eternal God of creation has pledged to use his infinite power and wisdom to insure my welfare. That's security.'(Effective Christian Counselling-p65). And he's right.

Let me ask: do you want to now how secure and significant you feel? Then take a look at how you are spending your time. If it is one frantic activity after another with Christ being pushed further and further to the out margins of your life, then beware, you could find yourself seething in the kitchen with Martha. And maybe it is worth pausing and taking a leaf out of Mary's book at this point. As someone once said, we need to 'come apart' and be with Jesus before we simply 'come apart.' Let us pray.

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